Monday, December 5, 2011

I Can't Forget Him!

Copyright (c) 2011 Chris J Roberts

How could I ever forget him… I have never loved anyone as much as I love him… I can never love someone like this again…

How could I ever be with someone else after him…

Ever been through a phase in your life when these phrases filled your mind? Did you ever cry yourself to sleep thinking that you can't just forget about him and let him go? If you have, then you have been influenced to believe in the idea of 'THE ONE'.

Is 'The One' Fact or Fiction?

Take a creative mind, add some romantic movies and top everything with some lack of knowledge about the psychology of love and you have a perfect recipe to produce an unreal idea about love - thinking that there is that someone called 'The One'. Our unconscious mind is influenced by everything that we hear and see. What starts with an idea, can end up in solid belief with the right amount of influence. Right now, you're probably trying to resist that something inside you telling you that this is the truth. You don't have to resist it for long though, because after reading the following you will realize that 'The One' is only a fruit of your imagination.

Does 'The One' really exist?

What makes him the one?: The thing that makes us believe that a person is 'The One', is a particular experience that you shared with him. The mind stores both the experience and the person as one item. This means that you think of the experience and the person as one thing, where in reality they are separate. Still not convinced? Then I guess you have to wait until you fall in love again! When you fall in love with someone new and share with him another particular experience, he will become your new ideal partner and you will completely forget him - your past love.

- Is he the 1st 'One'? : How many times in your life have you been in love? Probably each time, you thought that he was the right person for you. The one you can never forget or replace. But what happens after that? Chances are, you meet someone more interesting and new, and you forget about your old flame!

- How do we fall in love? : Let's look into what makes us fall in love with someone. It all happens in our complex mind, which starts matching predetermined criteria to a potential lover. Once we find someone who does match the criteria, he becomes 'The One' and we fall in love. This however does not mean that no one else can ever match our criteria again. It means only that this person is currently seems to be the best match, however a better match might come along in the future.

- Experiencing stronger emotions? : It might be the case that you were feeling a deeper love with stronger emotions. This experience might have made you believe in 'The One' more, since you have never felt such emotional depth before. You are not really to blame in this case, however in your future relationships you will realize that it was the emotional depth that you fell in love with and not the person himself.

Are You Being Influenced?

Can't you see through all the hundreds of hidden messages that you receive daily? Why do you allow the media and the people around you to influence you? You must realize that believing in what you see in romantic movies, and what you listen to in romantic songs, will only make you suffer. You will find it harder to forget about him, you will recover more slowly after break ups and you might be forever a prisoner of your own mind. It's time to break through the myth of 'The One', and discover the truth.


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